Wednesday, December 22, 2010

The Last 2 Days

I have not been able to post for the last 2 days because I honestly didn't know what to say. Things have been so hard. Harder than Mike and I were prepared for and at times, most of the time, we felt like we were failing miserably. Parker has been screaming since he arrived. Every moment. Every day - and, just as a reminder - he has been with us since noon on the 20th. When we hold him. When we sit with him. When we walk with him. Every single second. The kids have done great. Mike and I have not. But, this afternoon we had a glimmer of hope or perhaps a glimmer of who Parker is. We were at the end of our ropes and we decided to go for a walk. When we got outside, Parker stopped crying and actually played in the garden with Harrison and Piper. He was acting like a normal child and, most importantly, he was not crying or screaming. It was then we knew he would be ok and we just needed to make sure we would be ok dealing with everything until Parker felt comfortable with us. Tonight there was still crying, but it is different. The screaming seems to have stopped. Mike and I are still exhausted, but our spirits seem a little better. I will try to post some pictures and a more positive update after Harrison watches his nightime movie.

12 comments:

Kristin said...

I am so sorry Parker is struggling. I know as the days pass, he will slowly begin to make gains. Giant hugs to you all as you go through each day.

Heather Thompson said...

Bless you and Mike!!! I'm so glad you got that glimmer of the son he is going to be once he's over the grieving. I'm so very sorry for sorrow and yet I can't wait to hear about the transformation that each day will bring! Hang in there!!! Lots of prayers coming your way!

nicole said...

hugs to you anad your family ashley. i can not even imagine the stress.

Joy said...

I'm sorry to hear it's been such a hard time. I hope and pray Parker settles in soon.

Renee Kral said...

You don't know me but I've been following your blog as we are thinking about our own China adoption. My prayers are with you, your family and little Parker as you all work through this difficult time. Those picture of him looking through the crack in the door broke my heart. God give you all HIs peace.

Sharing Life and Love said...

Thinking of you all. so sorry to hear about the rough time you all are going through.

You are not alone and it will all work out gradually. Glad you had a moment of bliss during playtime outside.

Looking forward to seeing some pictures.

Heather said...

Hang in there my friend! This desperation was the same desperation I heard from Jason. When I called him, he made it clear he needed a cheaper way to talk to me more often and he needed it RIGHT THEN!!! Many pep talks later and many hours of uncertainty, Lily became his daughter in heart.

However, as you know, coming home brings its own trials. Although we did not have a screamer at home, we had a very frightened little girl. Many months went by before life was sane. I say I don't remember her being 2 or George's infant years very much, because life was just getting by day by day.

I am glad the kids are dealing with it well. Use each other and the reps you have in China-- this TOO shall pass :)
-Heather

Jen & Rob said...

Hey honey. Checking in with you and letting you know we are thinking about you all back home in Ga!
He must be very scared right now. There's so much to take in for him. All the new surroundings, people, smells, etc., but I know you all know that. You are wonderful parents, and he will see and feel that...

blessedmom said...

I wish we were there. If possible I would be on the next plane. Praying for you. It does get better. Love you guys.

joanna and scott said...

I'm so sorry the transition has been so difficult!! Glad you saw some of the Parker he will be when the grieving is over. Big hugs and prayers to you all!! What troopers your big kids are too!!

Just Like Joan said...

Prayers for patience and peace to your entire family through this transition time. Keep in mind what a blessing you all are to each other. I wish I could fly there to help!
Please let me know what I can do to help once you are state-side. J

Mandie said...

I wish we were there to help. It is hard when they are grieving so hard. It will get better and before you know it, this will all be a distant memory. Many blessings to you!