A Legacy of Hope

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Playing in the room

Learning to play with Harrison and Piper. Small steps...

This was the first night that Parker was with us - Dec 20th. In between his screaming hysterics, he decided to pack to go home. After he got everything in his backpack, he went to the front door and screamed for Ma to come get him. He had to sleep that first night with his backpack on. The next night, he was holding it and tonight it is across the room and he has not looked for it. Progress!

The Last 2 Days

I have not been able to post for the last 2 days because I honestly didn't know what to say. Things have been so hard. Harder than Mike and I were prepared for and at times, most of the time, we felt like we were failing miserably. Parker has been screaming since he arrived. Every moment. Every day - and, just as a reminder - he has been with us since noon on the 20th. When we hold him. When we sit with him. When we walk with him. Every single second. The kids have done great. Mike and I have not. But, this afternoon we had a glimmer of hope or perhaps a glimmer of who Parker is. We were at the end of our ropes and we decided to go for a walk. When we got outside, Parker stopped crying and actually played in the garden with Harrison and Piper. He was acting like a normal child and, most importantly, he was not crying or screaming. It was then we knew he would be ok and we just needed to make sure we would be ok dealing with everything until Parker felt comfortable with us. Tonight there was still crying, but it is different. The screaming seems to have stopped. Mike and I are still exhausted, but our spirits seem a little better. I will try to post some pictures and a more positive update after Harrison watches his nightime movie.

Monday, December 20, 2010

Parker Michael - Iphone Pictures

The picture above is the crib that the kids decorated with their animals for Parker. The notes we have on Parker state that he sleeps with his foster mom, "Ma," so we will probably move the crib out later today.

We had to wait until noon, so while we waited, the kids got in bed together and talked about how they would act when Parker came. Unfortunately, we were not anticipating the level of terror he had when we came :(

This is how Parker was for the first hour or so, when I was not trying to hold him. He thinks his foster mom, "Ma," is in the closet and he bangs on it and looks through the crack screaming and begging her to come get him. When I open the door, he crumbles to the ground and screams. This is so hard to see. The kids did great - we took them out for two breaks, but other than that they were here. The only good aspect to this is that he obviously loves Ma very much so hopefully attachment will go well after he grieves.

Parker came to us in the traditional Chinese winter outfit - many many many layers of split pants. He even is wearing the big bib quilted overalls. He was fighting me the whole time I was trying to get him undressed. I would have given him more time, but it was so hot in here and he was so hysterical that I was afraid he was going to throw up. He seemed to feel better once I got off the 4 quilted layers.

Once I got him undressed (the kids were on a break) I put him in just a t-shirt to cool down.

More of our morning - sorry the pictures are so bad. We only have our IPhone since our camera broke. Uggh!

After the bath, we set him down in the bed and he FINALLY stopped crying. Poor little guy is just heartbroken and terrified.

Mike was the first one to be able to break through to him and it happened over a pair of Sponge Bob shoes. I had showed them to him, but he hit them out of my hands. Mike tried about 30 minutes later and he let him put them on his feet - all while screaming. We could tell he liked them because although he was screaming, he would rotate his ankles so we could see him.

Do you notice what is in his hands. He came to us screaming and gripping Percy and a cargo train. We had sent them in one of his packages. He has refused to put them down since he got here. When Mike pretends he wants one, Parker screams and puts his hands behind his head. Now that he is sleeping, we can see just how sweet and adorable he is. Thank goodness I brought the Vaseline for those cheeks. They feel like sand paper.